wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
