he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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