therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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