Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
