Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
