I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize