If i come over, it means nothing
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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