do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
