if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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