The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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