you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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