I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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