id be glad to
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Do you remember whose house we're in?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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