I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
