I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
