I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize