What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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