I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
