Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
