If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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