I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
