Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Randomize
