maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
