chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
