Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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