If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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