And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
