hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
