I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I am available for nakedness
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
