I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
