is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
