Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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