i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I need water and some morals
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
