I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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