i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
a search helicopter?!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
