No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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