Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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