we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
