he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
