matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
