everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
