I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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