I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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