People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
