bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
