We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
