i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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