you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
