Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
