Are we in a gay sports bar?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize