He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
