worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
