Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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