he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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