She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
that is very illegal...i love you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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