I think scott just propositioned me for sex
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
