first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My vagina is very pro this idea
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
