Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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