my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
