remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
