My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
