I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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