not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
