I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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