I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
