She is in my trunk
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
