can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
