It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
