NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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