in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
