alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
